current song obsession

for Joshie, who is obsessed with it too :)



goddamn this dusty room
this hazy afternoon
i'm breathing in the silence like never before
this feeling that i get
this one last cigarette
as i lay awake and wait for you to come through that door
oh maybe, maybe, maybe i can share it with you
i behave i behave i behave so i can share it with you

you are not alone dear loneliness
you forgot but i remember this
so stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know
i am not alone dear loneliness
i forgot that i remember this
so stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know

you'll dream about somewhere, a smoke will fill the air
as i lay awake and wait for you to walk out that door

i can change, i can change, i can change
but who you want me to be?
i'm the same, i'm the same, i'm the same, what do you want me to be?

you are not alone dear loneliness
you forgot but i remember this
so stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know oh ohh, oh ohh

i'm not alone dear loneliness
i forgot that i remember this
you're not alone dear loneliness
you forgot but i remember this
oh stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know

i'm not alone dear loneliness
i forgot that i remember this
oh stranger, stranger, stranger things have happened i know oh ohh, oh ohh, oh ohhh

oh, dave...*swoon*

Los Angeles Is Burning

Somewhere high in the desert near a curtain of a blue
St. Anne's skirts are billowing
But down here in the city of the lime lights
The fans of Santa Ana are withering
And you can't deny that living is easy
If you never look behind the scenery
It's showtime for dry climes
And bedlam is dreaming of rain

When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the murder wind
So many lives are on the breeze
Even the stars are ill at ease
And los angeles is burning

This is not a test
Of the emergency broadcast system
Where Malibu fires and radio towers
Conspire to dance again
And I cannot believe the media mecca
They're only trying to peddle reality,
Catch it on prime time, story at nine
The whole world is going insane

When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the murder wind
So many lives are on the breeze
Even the stars are ill at ease
And Los Angeles is burning

A placard reads
"the end of days"
Jacaranda boughs are bending in the haze

More a question than a curse
How could hell be any worse?

The flames are stunning
The cameras running
So take warning

When the hills of Los Angeles are burning
Palm trees are candles in the murder wind
So many lives are on the breeze
Even the stars are ill at ease
And Los Angeles is burning

-"Los Angeles Is Burning"
by Bad Religion

love the song, love the video

new favorite song

It carries me through my days, my nights, my empty moments.
It's not often a song can completely engulf me like this one has, wrap me in comfort and hope and...happiness? Contentment? All unfamiliar emotions, especially lately.
Enjoy.

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

more all-time favorite lyrics

Drops of Jupiter

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey, hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey, hey
Since the return from her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey

Tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is overrated

Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And did you miss me while you were looking at yourself out there

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey, hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's time to grow, hey, hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane
Told a story about a man who is too afraid to fly so he never did land

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you even when I know you're wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze dried romance five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had . . . and me

Tell me did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back toward the Milky Way

Combattants de Foo

Deep breath.
I'm back from the dress rehearsal for the MTV Movie Awards at the Shrine Auditorium. It was VERY cool to see Josh in his element and at work. It was cool to see the after party lounge they'd set up in the middle of the back of the Shrine. (red and white theme...mostly white with red accents a la Virgin...it was hosted by Virgin, natch) It was cool to see the staging area for the three bands that are performing - Eminem, Mariah Carey and the Foo Fighters. It was intimidating also, knowing that I was wearing a soft pass that said "Talent" and not quite knowing how to work my way around backstage. Josh was busy, so I couldn't ask him for help. But one trip to the restrooms and I figured my way around. Phew!

Since I got there later in the rehearsal (notice I didn't say "late"!) I missed Eminem and Mariah Carey. Yes, I was crushed. Not. There were random crew people standing in for the presenters and they each went through the presenter's lines. The teleprompter screen was HUGE! I fell in love with all the cameras. I never thought a sea of lenses and cameras would make such an impression on me. The extendable camera was just awesome. I couldn't stop watching it. (must find out its technical name!) Even the regular old film cameras were all new and digital. No more looking in the lens - the videographer has the camera strapped to his shoulder in a harness and a small screen the size of a GameBoy that goes around the front to chest level. That was tight.

On to Jimmy Fallon. What a funny, funny guy. They had some good jokes in there and Jimmy was wearing a green tie. However, he wasn't in full makeup (tsk, tsk) and you could really tell the difference. He had a dark mustache shadow and his face actually looked a little chubby. Swollen? Sorry Jimmy - stage makeup makes a difference. I still love you.

The piece de resistance was, of course, my beloved Foo Fighters. Their backdrop was a bunch of speakers jumbled on top of each other. Got to watch soundcheck, complete with the roadies tuning the instruments and doing sound check. Then, suddenly, Dave himself was onstage in a black KISS Gene Simmons t-shirt. He's much taller than I thought, and much skinnier. But he also has beautiful skin, which is something you'd never know. They did three runs of their new single "The Best of You" and one without vocals. I love how Dave closes his eyes when he sings. Everyone was really spot on and there weren't any kinks to work out. Josh gave me earplugs just in case but I much preferred the full effect of sitting second row center. Yes! Second row center! In the "lounge" with uncomfortable chairs and a few couches. Watch for it if you watch the show. I sat next to Ziyi Zhang and Johnny Knoxville's seats. Dave cracked a few jokes on the mic and he and Taylor did a few minutes of jamming back and forth, playing Sting covers and probably a riff off their new album, or something they just made up. Whatever, I hadn't heard it before. Seeing those little moments are what makes an experience like today's priceless. The natural banter, the smooth merging of drums and guitar between old friends. No need to communicate their next moves - they know each other's. Very, very cool.

Other things I forgot to mention: I also saw Yellowcard perform their cover of Simple Plan's "Don't You (Forget About Me)" from The Breakfast Club. Great cover and an incredible montage from the movie. I loved it. By the way, when did the movie become grainy? Am I that old? Oy. Also got to see the Tom Cruise montage (way too long) that will be played when Katie Holmes (or is it Kate now?) presents him with some generational old fogey award. The montage was good, but all I could think was "Tom - the magic is over." Sad, really. But I really don't see him as being much more than a sum of the characters he's played. I think he's lost track of himself and who he is, or was. Anyway, I'm over you Tom. Gotta keep on keepin' on.

Can't wait to meet the infamous Betty tomorrow and catch up with my October homies. I can't believe our kids are almost 8. EIGHT!

Hats off to anyone who makes it through my rambling about today's events. I'm sure I'll tweak the details as I remember more and digest the day.

my current soundtrack

Another rainy Thursday. I like rain in the spring.
T-minus 2 days and counting until Josh leaves. And I'm not at all thrilled or happy or supportive. I'm just bitter. Bitternuts. I've arranged for packages of pretty paper to be delivered to me from eBay during Josh's absence. That way I'll have something to look forward to other than May 20th.

Btw, his current show is the ACM's, then he's off for a weekend and on to the MTV Movie Awards. For two weeks. Damn, that's a lot of work for not so much pay. This experience is teaching me a lot about sacrifice. I'm not sure I like it.

To keep me as sane as possible, here is the CD I burned for the car. I listen to the playlist at home. Yes, it's pretty random - I could have organized the songs better. But I like the variation in music styles and all the beats are sweet to my ears, no matter what style of music. These are just "Laura Songs". Ask anyone.

(in no particular order)

Amber - 311
Red Vines - Aimee Mann
Redemption Song - Bob Marley
No Woman, No Cry - Bob Marley
Satellite - Dave Matthews Band
Crush - Dave Matthews Band
Are You In? - Incubus
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing - Jack Johnson
Rock Your Body - Justin Timberlake
Pump Ya Brakes - Will Smith feat. Snoop Dogg
Ordinary People - John Legend
Suga Suga - Baby Bash
New Slang - The Stripes
Drops of Jupiter - Trane

purpose driven endorphins

I worked out today. Yay, me!
Bryan and Steph came over for dinner.
My mom and I ordered blinds for the living room.

But here's the "interesting" thing that happened today. One of the moms at preschool (who I happen to really like) was passing out these books - The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Interesting for a few reasons: one, that it's one of the few books Josh has ever expressed interest in reading. Two, that rather than buy the book for myself (which quite frankly was never going to happen) she gave it to me at this time in my life. I haven't started the book yet and probably won't for a few more days. (I'm currently reading Angels & Demons by Dan Brown) But I will read it at some point. Yes, the Christian basis of the book is off-putting. And my friend explained that she's not prostelytizing or trying to convert anyone...and I believe her. She's the kind of person I'd believe readily and I'm not easy to convince. But anyway, the whole thing didn't feel like an Amway pitch or like I was being ambushed. She just knows where I am in my life because she's in a similar place and has similar concerns. I can dig that. But I remain steadfast in that my beliefs are spiritual rather than religious.

Songs I'm listening to over and over:
Jack Johnson - Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
The Shins - New Slang (Garden State soundtrack)
Maybe it's a good thing I don't have an iPod yet. I'd probably sleep with the thing in my ears. I'm the kind of person who gets really into a song or two and plays it to death - repeat ad nauseum. I imagine an iPod would really be a good tool in feeding that part of me.
So here are the lyrics to "New Slang". The colored text is a line that really spoke to me - made me feel in a way that only music can. That was really cool.

Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, I don't know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that I was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.

New slang when you notice the stripes, the dirt in your fries.
Hope it's right when you die, old and bony.
Dawn breaks like a bull through the hall,
Never should have called
But my head's to the wall and I'm lonely.

And if you'd 'a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd 'a jumped from my tree
And I'd a danced like the kind of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.
God speed all the bakers at dawn may they all cut their thumbs,
And bleed into their buns 'till they melt away.
I'm looking in on the good life I might be doomed never to find.
Without a trust or flaming fields am I too dumb to refine?

And if you'd 'a took to me like
Well I'd a danced like the queen of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would 'a fared well.