not okay

Too. Much. Emotion! Can't. Process.

I don't know where to start except that my cat is still missing. What's even more disturbing is that I've hardly seen ANY cats around lately, even sneaking into the garage to eat like they usually do. I miss her so much. I keep expecting to hear her jingle at one of the doors or mew to be let out of the garage in the morning. I miss seeing her shadow just outside of the garage or her little yellow eyes peeking in.

On Friday, Josh was at the grocery store and recognized the person behind him but couldn't place her. He did a double-take and realized it was my dear friend Gracie. We've known each other since third grade and although we've always had other "best" friends, we've always remained close. The best birthday party I remember as a kid was hers in sixth grade. We slept over at her house, about six of us girls, and watched Sixteen Candles. It was my first real sleepover. I remember her dad's birds in the little home made backyard aviary. In the morning her mom made us pancakes and kim chee for breakfast. Now our children play together whenever they're out here visiting from Georgia.

Gracie's dad passed away two weeks ago, very suddenly. Just that fact is sad enough and triggers many memories of seeing him through the years, always smiling. Always promising to say hi to Grace for me. I'm so sad for Grace, her brother, her mom, her kids.

I talked to my mom this morning and she mentioned that she'd heard a familiar name mentioned at Mass yesterday among the prayers for the dead. We thought that it might be a grandfather or uncle...surely it wasn't the person we knew. We (my parents and I) knew this family from many years of church. Youth groups and all that. The oldest son married a friend of mine from high school. One of my other friends lusted after the middle son and spent hours upon hours talking about him. I did a Google search and it was the middle son who died in a freak accident. It's beyond comprehension. We were the same age. I can't begin to imagine the family's devastation.

Please keep these two families in your prayers. I've prayed more this past week than I can remember, with a particular shout out to Saint Gertrude of Nivelles, the Patron Saint of cats. Hug your families, spoil your animals. Say what you mean now, before it's too late. Have a blessed new year.