thankful for them

thankful for them
Originally uploaded by mosaic me

I lost our children today

I've never done that before. I've known where they were every second of their 10 and 6 years together. I couldn't find them after school. I raced laps around the school; across the playground, past the kinder building, into one hallway, checking classrooms and bathrooms, swing around the other hallway, still checking everywhere, trying to control my rising panic. They were supposed to meet in front of room 16 for the jewelry sale but the sale was called off. Claire was freaking because she'd been told what to do, damn it, and she didn't want to get busted. Kaylie finally met up with Claire and out of the goodness of her heart because she didn't want her baby sister to cry (which means she wanted to buy some jewelry, of course!), asked the teacher who was doing the jewelry sale if she'd bring in the stuff anyway so they could buy something. Lovely teacher that she is, she did. I was actually talking to that teacher when I was walking in to school and she was carrying a box of jewelry. Hey, I had to cut her some slack, we've never had her as a teacher. She didn't know those were my kids. I started alerting teachers and other parents while I ran laps and called anyone I knew who might have seen my girls. For about 90 seconds I stood on the steps in front of the school with my heart heavy as a rock in my gut, told myself that it was time to call Josh. I couldn't find our children. Our daughters, our babies, the golden children we'd be nothing without. I was sure someone saw them alone and took them for themselves and I was going to have to kill myself. And then they appeared like two blue-eyed, brown-haired angels and I wanted to throttle the little jewelry-saturated grins off their faces. They faded quickly enough once they realized what had been going on. They'd been in the classroom - a bungalow - during my frenzy. I took the drive home to cool off (by telling them I couldn't talk to them yet, they were already sobbing at that point) and then got their stories. We cried, hugged, called Daddy and talked about all the different reasons for waiting in the allotted area near the office and how they'd given me a headache I'd never be able to get rid of.

A few hours later we were off to Family Movie Night at school which was a whole new fresh sort of hell. Post-dinner parents burping and farting up a storm in a small-ish auditorium watching Shrek 2 while the kids run around screaming, screaming, screaming , screaming. So much screaming! Without them though, the silence would be deafening.

details about the car and the past few days

Last weekend we were in Las Vegas for Rory's bat mitzvah. It was a big deal: our first experience at temple services, a weekend trip, all the aunts, uncles and cousins in one place at one time for a huge party. It was fabulous! We truly had a wonderful time. While we were gone we took the Camry, natch, since Josh's 1991 Honda Civic Si with 282,000 miles would probably make it there, but you don't want to take chances with probably when driving through the desert. Josh swung his car around from its usual spot in the front of our house to the Camry's vacant spot in the driveway.

When we got back on Sunday night and put the Camry back in the driveway to unload, Josh moved the Civic to a spot in front of the vacant house one house away at the end of the cul-de-sac.

Monday came and went uneventfully, except that I was now sick after being stuck with Mr. Sicky McSickPants in a car for 6 hours. Boy, I didn't see that one coming. And I'm such fun when I'm sick!

Tuesday morning the girls were late because mommy called in sick since daddy was home and able to cover the morning shift. He left the house a little after 9:00. He doesn't recall checking for his car when he left but I suspect it was still there since the car's absence would surely have registered in his detailed Virgo brain. Fast forward to him charging into the house asking where his car is, complete with the soundtrack of sirens racing to an accident somewhere nearby. That's always fun...the sound of sirens and then someone bursting into the house yelling. I was now awake. Sure enough, no car. Gone. It couldn't be reposessed...someone stole it? Seriously? STOLE IT?! A car made in 1991 with 280K+ miles on it? Granted, it had a new engine and transmission and it's worth way more parted out than it was as a whole ($1200) but FUCK! I think that someone wanted it for parts and watched the house enough that they knew there would be a 15-20 minute window when we were gone taking the girls to school. Jackholes. I'd like to have words with the little Honda-racing punks that jacked my husband's source of transportation to work to support his family. I hope they don't graduate from high school and all their friends do. I hope they get crabs, shingles and hand/foot/mouth disease. I hope they break out in furious, red, itchy rashes of unknown origin. I hope they wipe their asses with poison oak, and that's being nice.

It remains to be seen if the car was taken for a joyride home by some idiot, in which case we might actually see it again (the "community officer" who took the police report said they actually do recover quite a few stolen cars) or if some little racing fuck jacked it for parts, in which case it will live on in a handful of other Hondas that I hope get attacked by rust and have sugar poured in their gas tanks.

Tomorrow is Kaylie's TENTH BIRTHDAY. Ten. I've been a a mother for ten years. It's absolutely mind-boggling. In those early years of parenting I was never able to see this far ahead into the future but as everyone warns you, the future comes too soon. You really think you'll remember all those infuriating, annoying trials for the rest of your life but you don't. You remember sweet milky breath, chubby sugar baby thighs and the smell of diapers until you blink and that sweet baby is now eye level with you. It's still sweet, but in an entirely different way. So hold on to your babies while they're small, mamas. Time passes on too quickly.

Kaylie's 10th birthday bash has a Japanese dinner party theme - red, black and white. We're serving sushi, edamame, rice balls, gyoza (potstickers), yakitori (teriyaki chicken on a skewer that I already warned Josh we didn't have enough of) and I'll probably put out cute pb&j's for the party guests with sensitive palates. We're going to play games with chopsticks and learn the dance to that terrible crunk song Soulja Boy that's all the rage. (if only they'd had the internet and youtube back when I was young! so much awkwardness could have been avoided!) The goody bags are the BEST though. Josh and I put together a bunch of crap from the 99 cent store and the Japanese market in little square brightly colored tupperware containers (3 for $1) and the the addition of some sushi grass, voila! Faux bento boxes aka goody bags. Really one of my finer creative moments (did I mention I already had the sushi grass on hand?) but Josh did help so I can't take all the credit. Damn it.

Look for birthday photos sometime over the weekend.

it's good to be back

School started today. Both girls got the teachers I requested - hooray for small triumphs! A good teacher makes all the difference. The girls were SO excited for the first day, all tummy-flutters and new clothes and shoes and backpacks. I even made them little crafty name tags for their backpacks. We saw all our old friends and teachers and realized how much we'd missed them over the summer. It's so nice to be back into a routine and to have happy, tired kids at the end of the day.

love these days

...the kind of long days at the beach where you can still smell the tang of salt water even after you're home, all the guts and glory of boogie boarding and body surfing, the ensuing rashes, scrapes, cuts and bumps that are totally worth the hours of riding waves....throwing sand at your cousins, playing with your cousins, having your family feel so much bigger with the extra playmates...sharing secrets, comparing stories, learning each others lives...

I'm lucky enough to have memories like this of my childhood summers. Watching my kids share the same experiences (albeit better) with their cousins is priceless.

thank you

my Joshie, for hooking me up with my cool new background that matches my myspace page. (I love my new myspace song too)
Have I mentioned how much I love having you home?

Oh Ali, how I love thee...her Monday Mosaics are such lovely flickr eye candy (I'm flickr-obsessed) and she linked to the cool mosaic maker she uses. Sigh. Fun, fun, fun!

ta-da!

Before...way, way before.






Ta-da! After! Aren't they so purty?
We still can't quite believe it.
We're all walking around looking at the floor.
Getting the stuff out of the house inspired us to
not bring it all back in. Get the desk area where we want it. Get the girls' cubbies/launching pads (totally ripped that one from steph and sharon on october), charger station.


I've been slow to update because of a glitch with signing in to blogger - I never can. I think I fixed the problem. Amazing how helpful the "help" section can be when one reads it. To make up for lost items I intended to post over the past week, I'm going to post them and back date them. Enjoy.

six years old

We celebrated at American Girl Place where Claire received her first American Girl doll, Nicki, all courtesy of her beyond generous Nana.

My baby Clairey girl. Six years ago today, stubborn from the second you were born. You've taught me more than you realize. I love you for all that you are and I always will.

christmas girlies

you'll never guess

Ah, how much wonderful news has begun with a knock on the door? We were all cozily still in our pajamas at *ahem* 1:30-ish this afternoon and there was a knock at the door. I thought it was Josh so I told Kaylie to let him in. It wasn't. It was our neighbor Max who came to tell Kaylie that HE'D FOUND BINKY!! They could hardly contain themselves enough to tell me what was going on. I heard "found", "Binky", "Max" and "at his house". I tossed off my dish gloves, threw on my house coat, grabbed some millet and Binky's best friend (his little wooden toy with a bell on the end), told the girls to wait for me and ran across the street. Sure enough, there was Binky perched on my neighbor's shoulder. He came right to me and started chowing down on the millet, making a mess on his rescuer's beautiful pickled birch Pergo floors. Ingrate.


I guess the neighbor had seen Binky in her tree on Thursday afternoon while working from home. She even told her husband that she'd seen a big, gray bird in the backyard and he thought she was maybe a teeny bit crazy. But when they came home from running errands this afternoon, there was my birdie, trying to warm up in a patch of sunlight on their patio. He was very cold, tired, hungry and thirsty but we fixed all that right away. He ate, drank, pooped and settled in for a nap, safe in his cage in the sunlight from the window. After the sun went down we moved a little space heater near the cage to keep him warm. He gradually got less puffy and more active and seems fine. He's at least all in one piece and doesn't look damaged on the outside.


Did I mention that it rained last night? Poor birdie! How did he ever survive? The temperatures were in the low 40's the past few nights. I really thought (and Josh did, too) that if a predator hadn't gotten him, the weather certainly would have.

We're so glad to have him back. The girls swore that they wouldn't complain when it was their turn to change Binky's food and water any more. Josh is just stunned and so grateful that someone found the stupid bird. Yes, I'm taking Binky to get his wings clipped tomorrow and might even get him a bunch of cilantro to celebrate.

It's a Hanukkah miracle, I tell you.

my boyfriend's back...

...but no one's in trouble. How did I ever survive without him?
The girls are over the moon. Kaylie keeps stroking his arm and giving him random kisses and snuggles. Claire just needs Daddy for everything. He's surprised at how Kaylie's grown up in the past few weeks too.

Swimming again today. It must have been a thousand degrees. We wouldn't survive if we weren't able to be in the water! I love the beginning of summer (btw, Spring only lasts a few weeks in my opinion). New bathing suits, new goggles, pool toys, sunscreen. Of course I had to try the new Coppertone Continuous Spray sunblock and I give it two thumbs up for beach use. It does leave a dry film after swimming, but application took like 5 seconds for each kid and you don't need to rub it in. Just let it dry. At the pool, I'd just go with regular sunscreen. Doesn't make much difference.

Cat got a lizard yesterday. It lived. I released it. Another whopper. Where's my counter?

We went to the 5 Freeway Series yesterday, also known as the Dodgers vs. Angels game at Dodger Stadium. It was the girls' first professional baseball game. It totally rocked, except that the Angels won. We had nachos, Dodger Dogs (which Claire wolfed down in record time, shocking us all), peanuts (yeah, I caught the bag with my right hand and the left side of my face. if only Dodgervision had caught that moment!), cotton candy and MORE nachos. There's nothing like singing the National Anthem in a stadium full of people on a warm near-summer night. Talk about feeling patriotic. I'm so glad my kids got to experience that for the first time!

Sigh. Joshie's home. My world is complete again.

I love my husband because...

...when I opened his box of fruit flavored Mentos all that was left were the pink ones. For me. My favorite. He eats the orange and yellow ones, saves me the pink ones. I love him.

lost my freakin' mind today

The lack of Vitamin Z finally did me in today. I don't think I've ever made it past 4 or 5 days without it since I started it. The surges and head "trails" (I feel like I can see trails when I move my limbs or head - fun!) knocked me back in to bed as soon as I got up. It was awful. And thus began the downward spiral.

The worst part was losing my temper while trying to take out the trash and injuring myself in the process. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

But my Joshie rescued me. I'm so lucky to be married to someone who is truly my friend. He came through for me today in a big way. I have my vitamin Z again, (thanks Nina) he let me nap, cooked for the kids and just let me be. And best of all, while I was asleep he got THREE calls for jobs! YAY! He's working the Nickelodeon Kid's Choice Awards tomorrow and Friday and the awards show after party next week. My fingers are crossed that the kids and I can go and get in on the action. I'm so proud of him. Every time there's a slight bit of leeway in the job area I barely have time to get worried (although I do a little bit...that's just me) something always comes through. It's amazing. I will never stop being thankful that he's found his groove. His passion. His Thing. His gig! Love it...love him...love what makes him happy.

Tomorrow will be a better day.