another funeral....thanks, Parkinson's

Right now I'm feeling:

I don't want to be overly dramatic or anything, but today's funeral was devastating. I've searched for an obituary online but there isn't one. The church was in Monrovia, which is a quaint area I've always loved. The church was on a street named Shamrock and it was surrounded by jacaranda trees in full bloom. Just gorgeous.

I arrived fashionably late, of course. Kaylie forgot her lunch and Josh took Claire to school. But I made it. I don't know why I was taken aback by this huge coffin in the middle of the church aisle, but there it was. His four daughters in the front row...but where was my great aunt? I couldn't find her. Specifically, I couldn't find her hair. Great, now I'm gonna cry. To say that her husband's illness (Parkinson's) and death has taken a lot out of her is literal, in this case. She's lost about 50 pounds and she's not a big woman to begin with. But her hair...it was short, fine, cropped close to her head. She and my grandma always wore big bouffant hairdos. They were so cute together. Such sisters.

Well, I just couldn't deal after the funeral and bailed. I meant to hang out with my parents - specifically my dad, whose uncle it was - but I couldn't. I couldn't do the cemetary, the burial. I couldn't do the somber house that was always packed full of people and food in my memory of happier times. It will never be the same without Uncle Army there. Of course all of our loved ones who pass on become nearly perfect in our eyes, but I really don't think I ever met a nicer man than Uncle Army.

This is the second Parkinson's related funeral I've attended within the last 4 weeks. I'd like to give a big middle finger to Parkinson's Disease. I fart in its general direction.

So yeah, I'm sick. Scratchy sore throat, hot and cold flashes, headache and a constant wheeze. Lucky me - wheeeee!!! Feck. I didn't sign on for this but hey, it seems pretty par for the course as far as I go. Bad News = Emotional Laura = some sort of illness for Laura. This also means that I can't go visit Grammy tomorrow as I'd planned. We meant to go Wednesday or Thursday night, but I put it off until tomorrow. Ah, the guilt!

My sick ass is going to bed.