Wednesday, July 27, 2005

no, I'm not kidding. this is my life.

After flaking out on school this morning, the rest of my day consisted of running errands. Before I packed us all up into the hot sardine-box of a car, I needed to check the available credit card balance. $45. Okay, I can do that. In my mind I cut my list of errands (prescriptions on Friday, we're not quite out yet....bird food today, we're totally out....etc.) to the bare minimum and set off. I notice my right front tire is still looking a little low. I'm perfectly capable of putting air into a tire. I just didn't want to. The heat was oppressive today. I didn't sign up for humidity, I swear to God.

Okay, so we're off to PetNo, I mean PetCo. I splurge on the cheapest possible parakeet and cockatiel food, a bag of millet and a new swing for Petey who chewed his way through his second one last night. Grand total of $11-something, until I noticed that my daughter Claire had walked out of the store with the swing and we hadn't paid for it. Back into the store to pay for it. Keep in mind that I have not one lick of cash on me, this is all credit, baby.

Off to Albertson's next. I load up on fresh veggies and fruit, the likes of which the inside of my fridge hasn't seen in weeks. Squash, peppers, onions, strawberries, salad greens. Yum. Chocolate Silk soymilk, the kids' new favorite. (take that, dairy hormones!) Some fresh chicken, lunch for tomorrow. Yogurt whips (new chocolate raspberry mousse flavor!) at 5 for $4. And in my PMS-induced frenzy, I grab a box of yellow Zingers and two cans of Pringles, which are surprisingly cheap. This will just have to do. Head to the checkout. Of course, a long line forms behind me almost instantly. My total is just over $38. Yes, I can do the math. The credit card is declined. Shit. SHIT! We try again with the same results. The line behind me gets longer. Claire is practically climbing the aisle trying to find the gum I'd promised her. Now's not the time to tell her that is out the window. I tell the understanding cashier that I'll need to put some stuff back. I grab the bag of the yogurts, the Zingers and the Pringles, which brings my total to $30. The credit card gives me its acceptance. The cashier comments on my quick ability to realize what to put back. Hah. Is it even a choice? Meanwhile, the kids are orbiting me, whining. "Why did we have to put stuff back, Mommy?" "Where are my Zingers, Mommy?" WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY over and over and over. The bagger girl gives the kids blue happy face stickers to distract them. In an attempt to get my attention, Claire plants one in the center of my chest. Once I'd shut the kids up enough to explain the situation quietly and get outside to the parking lot, I looked down to notice the sticker. In addition to the blue smile, it read:

Life is Terrific!

Bite me. (I added that)


Gretchen said...

Why aren't there Get A Few Items Free cards that we can keep in our wallets for just such occasions? Blech. Sorry for your terrible, rotten, no good day. )-:

nicnichole said...

Do you by ANY chance still have that sticker?