beeeeyotch!

I survived the bachelorette party. Trust me when I say that it was indeed feat within itself. Let me start out by saying that I am NOT a drinker. I prefer to indulge in other methods of achieving a buzz. Methods that do not leave one with missing chunks of memory except for being hunched over different toilets. Yet even these memories are not the most humiliating of all. There is a reason that there are so many strategically placed trash cans in Las Vegas. And that's all I'm saying.

The next point of survival was The Beeyotch. She hardly deserves capitals to her name. She was that ONE person who had to make sure she was top dog. Like an aggressive alpha bitch. Come hell, high water or hurt feelings, she was going to make sure to put any outsiders in their place. This left us in a tight spot, being the stragglers that we were coming in on Day 2 of the bachelorette weekend. And true to her bitchy soul, she outdid everyone there by dragging some random French man back to the hotel suite with unconscious women (thatwouldbeme) sleeping amongst thousands of dollars in designer purses, cell phones and digital cameras. WHAT IN HOLY HELL WAS SHE THINKING?! Apparently she wasn't. And she's a cop's wife. The wedding should be interesting, no?

For the finale of my bachelorette weekend summary, I will list the drinks I remember drinking and their quantities. And yes, I will be appropriately hanging my head in mock shame. But seriously, I'm never drinking like that again.

• Blended Strawberry Coladas - 2
• Kirin Ichiban beer - 1
• Strawberry Daiquiri - 1
• Red Bull and Vodka - 1
• vodka/cranberry - 4 or so
• Malibu rum shots - 2